It is not permissible for the family of the deceased to make food and invite people to come and eat.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) forbade that. Jareer ibn ‘Abdullah said: We used to regard gathering with the family of the deceased and making food after the burial as coming under the same heading as wailing.. Narrated by Ahmad, 6866; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Talkhees Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz.
It is not permissible to go to these meals and gatherings; rather what must be done is to tell people not to do that and to explain to them that it is contrary to Islam.
With regard to reciting Qur’aan together, if the group starts to recite Qur’aan together in unison, this is another innovation; this was not narrated from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) or from any of his Companions.
Giving the reward for dhikr to one’s parents
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man dies all his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity (sadaqah jaariyah), beneficial knowledge and a righteous son who will pray for him.”
Narrated by Muslim, 1631, from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him).
The paternal uncle of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – Hamzah (may Allaah be pleased with him) – died, as did his wife Khadeejah and three of his daughters, but it is not narrated that he read Qur’aan for any of them, or offered a sacrifice or fasted or prayed on their behalf. No such thing has been narrated from any of the Sahaabah either. If it were prescribed, then they would have done it before us.
The exceptions for which there is evidence that the reward does reach the deceased are: Hajj, ‘Umrah, obligatory fasts, charity and du’aa’.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “ ‘And that man can have nothing but what he does’:
From this verse al-Shaafa’i and those who followed him understood that the reward for reading Qur’aan does not reach the deceased, because it is not something that they did or earned. Hence the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not recommend or encourage his ummah to do that, and he did not tell them to do that through any statement or gesture. Nor is it narrated that any of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) did that. If it were good they would have done that before us. So the acts of worship are restricted to those mentioned in the texts, and there is no room for analogy or personal opinions.
With regard to du’aa’ and charity, There is scholarly consensus that the reward for them reaches the deceased and that they are mentioned in sharee’ah.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/258.
If we assume that the reward for all righteous deeds reaches the deceased, then the best thing that can benefit the deceased is du’aa’. So why should we ignore that which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has encouraged us to do, and turn to other things that he did not do and that none of his companions did? All goodness is to be found in the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about giving the reward for reading Qur’aan and charity to one's mother, whether she is alive or dead.